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The number of choirboys indecently assaulted annually by vicars and churchwardens may lead you to suppose that England is a deeply religious country.

— Tom Sharpe The Wilt Alternative (1979)

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More quotes by Tom Sharpe

I have yet to meet a liberal who can withstand the attrition of prolonged discussion of the inessentials.

Porterhouse Blue (1971)

By shooting your cook you were refusing him permission to enter your house.

Riotous Assembly (1971)

His had been an intellectual decision founded on his conviction that if a little knowledge was a dangerous thing, a lot was lethal.

Porterhouse Blue (1971)

There are more ways of killing a cat than stuffing it with...

Porterhouse Blue (1971)

While he lived a violent life in his imagination, Eva, lacking any imagination at all, lived violently in fact.

Wilt (1976)

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Attribution

Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Tom Sharpe (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.