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Quotes from Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say — Warren Farrell

born 1943 United States

← All quotes by Warren Farrell

71 quotes

A man fears that conflict with his wife will lead to less intimacy, not more intimacy.

Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say (2000)

A man becomes successful by repressing his feelings, not expressing his feelings.

Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say (2000)

Humans have spent (10k+) years learning to fight and debate with the other side, and almost no time learning to listen and empathize.

Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say (2000)

When either sex suppresses the expression of feelings, it’s almost always b/c they don’t feel there is a safe environment to express them.

Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say (2000)

The hard part (of communication) is hearing criticism so it can be easily given.

Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say (2000)

The first instinctive response to any criticism is a defensive response. (The quicker the response, the more defensive.)

Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say (2000)

All defensive responses to criticism are natural. (It is natural to think of our own perspective before someone else’s.)

Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say (2000)

We are all gifted of the mouth, retarded of the ear.

Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say (2000)

Listening in response to criticism mandates a shift in our internal psyche that marks perhaps the most important single evolutionary shift humans can make.

Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say (2000)

Tone of voice is more crucial than words.

Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say (2000)

If we have integrity about our desire to support men to express feelings, every institution and attitude between the sexes will require questioning and adjusting.

Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say (2000)

Teaching children to debate without teaching children to listen is divorce training.

Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say (2000)

If our binoculars search for our partner’s best intent, it will usually be found.

Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say (2000)

Killing the criticizer, then, is part of our evolutionary past; listening in response to criticism is part of our evolutionary future.

Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say (2000)

Listening is self-empowerment via the empowerment of others.

Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say (2000)

What’s true is that everyone is uncomfortable with expressing anger and being critical. Anger and criticism generates rejection. And everyone hates rejection.

Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say (2000)

When we give trust, we receive trust. And people who trust us pay attention to us.

Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say (2000)

We are the offspring of approval-seekers. We want approval so badly that we vacillate between conforming to get it and standing out (being outstanding) to get it.

Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say (2000)

After divorce, women’s biggest fear is economic deprivation; men’s biggest fear is emotional deprivation.

Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say (2000)

Note the men’s fear that if they reported this to the authorities, not only would they not be believed, they would be ridiculed.

Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say (2000)

Attribution

Quotes and notes from Wikiquote: Warren Farrell (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0.