10 quotes
Going to Ford's Theatre to watch the play is like going to Hooters for the food.
Assassination Vacation (2005)
Except for the people who were there that one day they discovered the polio vaccine, being part of history is rarely a good idea. History is one war after another with a bunch of murders and natural disasters in between.
Assassination Vacation (2005)
Being a nerd, which is to say going too far and caring too much about a subject, is the best way to make friends I know.
The Partly Cloudy Patriot (2003)
You know you've reached a new plateau of group mediocrity when even a Canadian is alarmed by your lack of individuality.
Assassination Vacation (2005)
The true American patriot is by definition skeptical of the government.
The Partly Cloudy Patriot (2003)
I fear that the consumer who buys a Confederate flag coffee cup, which she will then put on her American flag place mat, is the sort of sophisticated thinker who is open-minded enough that she is capable of hating blacks and Arabs at the same time.
Assassination Vacation (2005)
Buffy's high school was built on top of a vortex of evil, the Hellmouth. And whose wasn't?
The Partly Cloudy Patriot (2003)
...the huge Jackson Pollock canvas that is the U.S.A.: vast, murky, splotched and slapped together by a drunk.
Take the Cannoli (2000)
I haven't decided if he deserved to eat bread made out of sticks or live in a rancid puddle, probably because I haven't made up my mind whether anyone deserves such treatment, though I suspect that the day a person gives up on the Geneva Conventions is the day a person gives up on the human race.
Assassination Vacation (2005)
Frank Sinatra is the first punk... punk comes out of nowhere... punk is... a rumor that spreads... that guts and perseverence mean more than anything else...
Take the Cannoli (2000)