87 quotes
Listen, buds, it's March twenty first;
Don't you know enough to burst?
Come on, birds, unlock your throats!
Come on, gardeners, shed your coats!
I'm a Stranger Here Myself (1938)
And the prospects for my future social life couldn't possibly be barrener.
Did I tell you that the prospects for my future social life couldn't be barrener?
Good Intentions (1942)
Whether elected or appointed
He considers himself the Lord's annointed,
And indeed the ointment lingers on him
So thick you can't get your fingers on him.
I'm a Stranger Here Myself (1938)
Some people, and it doesn't matter whether they are paupers or millionaires,
Think that anything they have is the best in the world just because it is theirs.
Versus (1949)
The garden is a raging sea,
The hurricane is snarling;
Oh, happy you and happy me!
Isn't the lightning darling?
Many Long Years Ago (1945)
The moral is that it is probably better not to sin at all, but if
some kind of sin you must be pursuing,
Well, remember to do it by doing rather than by not doing.
Portrait of the Artist as a Prematurely Old Man (1959)
Oh, sometimes I sit around and think, what would you do if you were up a dark alley and there was Caesar Borgia,
And he was coming torgia…
I'm a Stranger Here Myself (1938)
Other people, and it doesn't matter if they are Scandinavians or Celts,
Think that anything is better than theirs just because it belongs to somebody else.
Versus (1949)
Oh, than to enjoy a storm like this
There's nothing I would rather,
Don't dive between the blankets, Miss!
Or else leave room for Father.
Many Long Years Ago (1945)
Just when you think that at least the outlook is so black that it can grow no blacker, it worsens,
And that is why I do not like the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons.
The giant was hairy, the giant was horrid,
He had one eye in the middle of his forehead.
She took those pills from the pill concocter,
And Isabel calmly cured the doctor.
Life has a tendency to obfuscate and bewilder,
Such as fating us to spend the first part of our lives
being embarrassed by our parents and the last part
being embarrassed by our childer.
Versus (1949)
May I join you in the doghouse, Rover?
I wish to retire till the party's over.
Many Long Years Ago (1945)
Miranda in Miranda's sight
Is old and gray and dirty;
Twenty-nine she was last night;
This morning she is thirty.
Many Long Years Ago (1945)
The pirate gaped at Belinda's dragon,
And gulped some grog from his pocket flagon,
He fired two bullets, but they didn't hit,
And Custard gobbled him, every bit.
Many Long Years Ago (1945)
When smut's to be smitten
Smoot will smite
For G-d, for country,
And Fahrenheit.
Smite, Smoot,
Be rugged and rough,
Smut if smitten
Is front-page stuff.
And I also say Pooh for sweetness and light,
And if you want to get the most out of life, why the thing to do is to be a gossiper by day and gossipee by night.
I'm a Stranger Here Myself (1938)
Senator Smoot is an institute
Not to be bribed with pelf;
He guards our homes from erotic tomes
By reading them all himself.