42 quotes
Don't be afraid of missing opportunities. Behind every failure is an opportunity somebody wishes they had missed.
If the formula for water is H2O, is the formula for an ice cube H2O squared?
Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?
Saturday Night Live (1975)
It's so crazy not to do the human thing. It seems to me to be much more profitable to do the human thing. It just makes a better society.
Metro Weekly interview (2006)
Nobody is here without a reason. … I like a huge range of comedy … but I always wanted my comedy to be more embracing of the species rather than debasing of it.
If I had known what it would be like to have it all... I might have been willing to settle for less.
The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe (1985)
If you read a lot of books, you're considered well-read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you're not considered well-viewed.
What if it's boring... or if it's not boring, it might be too revealing, or worse, it might be too revealing and still be boring.
Friend. Songwriter. The Great Harmonizer of Humanity. Dolly. Dolly. Dolly. Forever Dolly.
The best mind-altering drug is truth.
I swear people don't want sex so much as they want somebody who'll listen to 'em … the first thing you learn after fellatio is how to listen.
The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe (1985)
Remember we're all in this alone.
The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe (1985)
If you can't be direct, why be?
I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework
Jane took me to another level because she's truly a wonderful writer.
Metro Weekly interview (2006)
If evolution was worth its salt, it should've evolved something better than "survival of the fittest." I think a better idea would be "survival of the wittiest." At least, that way, creatures that didn't survive could've died laughing.
The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe (1985)
When you talk about yourself for 35 years, first of all, it gets repetitious. And then it seems a little bit excessive, at the least.
The Advocate interview (2005)
9 to 5 made people aware of equal pay for equal work. It hasn't really happened, but it has come closer.
Metro Weekly interview (2006)
The larger picture is really to swing people's awareness of what really is moral. ...
The Advocate interview (2005)
I respect her talent and her brain and who she is as a person — and that kind of admiration and respect is a big factor in binding someone in a relationship.
Metro Weekly interview (2006)