9 quotes
O'er the rugged mountain's brow
Clara threw the twins she nursed,
And remarked, "I wonder now
Which will reach the bottom first?"
Ruthless Rhymes for Heartless Homes (1899)
"Guten Morgen, mon ami!
Heute ist es schönes Wetter!
Charmé de vous voir ici!
Never saw you looking better!"
When Grandmamma fell off the boat,
And couldn’t swim, and wouldn’t float,
Maria just sat by and smiled -
I almost could have slapped the child!
Ruthless Rhymes for Heartless Homes (1899)
Uncle, whose inventive brains
kept evolving aeroplanes,
fell from an enormous height
upon my garden lawn last night.
Flying is a fatal sport,
uncle wrecked the tennis court.
Ruthless Rhymes for Heartless Homes (1899)
Billy, in one of his nice new sashes,
Fell in the fire and was burnt to ashes;
Now, although the room grows chilly,
I haven't the heart to poke poor Billy.
Ruthless Rhymes for Heartless Homes (1899)
"Ich muss cherchez mon hôtel.
What a charming Schwätzerei, sir!
Lebe wohl! Adieu! Farewell!
Vive le Congo! Hoch der Kaiser!"
Weep not for little Leonie,
Abducted by a French Marquis!
Though loss of honour was a wrench,
Just think how it's improved her French.
Ruthless Rhymes for Heartless Homes (1899)
With money, so they all profess —
And I've no wish to beg the question —
One cannot purchase Happiness
Or Peace of Mind, or yet Success,
Or a robust digestion;
But one can buy a good cigar
And plovers' eggs and caviare!
That morning, when my wife eloped
With James, our chauffeur, how I moped!
What tragedies in life there are!
I'm dashed if I can start the car.
Ruthless Rhymes for Heartless Homes (1899)