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Quotes from Social Studies — Fran Lebowitz

born 1950 United States

← All quotes by Fran Lebowitz

14 quotes

If you are truly serious about preparing your child for the future, don't teach him to subtract - teach him to deduct.

Social Studies (1981)

Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.

Social Studies (1981)

No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.

Social Studies (1981)

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.

Social Studies (1981)

Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

Social Studies (1981)

Should you be a teenager blessed with uncommon good looks, document this state of affairs by the taking of photographs. It is the only way anyone will ever believe you in years to come.

Social Studies (1981)

Children do not really need money. After all, they don't have to pay rent or send mailgrams.

Social Studies (1981)

Do not elicit your child's political opinions. He doesn't know any more than you do.

Social Studies (1981)

Do not allow children to mix drinks. It is unseemly and they use too much vermouth.

Social Studies (1981)

The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.

Social Studies (1981)

Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear the phone is for you.

Social Studies (1981)

The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.

Social Studies (1981)

Think before you speak. Read before you think. This will give you something to think about that you didn't make up yourself - a wise move at any age, but most especially at seventeen, when you are in the greatest danger of coming to annoying conclusions.

Social Studies (1981)

Educational television should be absolutely forbidden. It can only lead to unreasonable expectations and eventual disappointment when your child discovers that the letters of the alphabet do not leap up out of books and dance around the room with royal-blue chickens.

Social Studies (1981)

Attribution

Quotes and notes from Wikiquote: Fran Lebowitz (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0.