Bob Monkhouse Quotes
1928–2003 England
Robert Alan Monkhouse OBE (1 June 1928 – 29 December 2003) was a British comedian, actor and presenter.
Random Bob Monkhouse quote
15 quotes
I'd like to die like my old dad, peacefully in his sleep, not screaming like his passengers.
Silence is not only golden; it is seldom misquoted.
When I said I was going to become a comedian, they all laughed. Well, they're not laughing now, are they?
Smarmy, plastic, oily, greasy, unctuous, shallow, superficial, old-fashioned, superannuated, crap
I'll never stop working. I want to die in the saddle. A day is wasted for me if I haven't done something even mildly creative.
No one watched it, not even the cameramen
I can still enjoy sex at 74 - I live at 75, so it's no distance.
People always say: "You're a comedian, tell us a joke." They don't say: "You're an MP, tell us a lie."
I saw a specialist who asked me 'Are you familiar with the phrase faecal impaction?'. I said I think I saw that one with Glenn Close and Michael Douglas.
I suddenly realised I could maybe occupy a different position because of age, a kind of acceptance.
The last time I was in Spain I got through six Jeffrey Archer novels. I must remember to take enough toilet paper next time.
I've always known that I polarise opinion. Some people respond with enthusiasm and affection. In others, I awaken a lot of hostility.
My father was ruined by hard drink - he sat on an icicle.
I was a born club comic. Radio and TV and stage were fine, but I found my real home in cabaret.
Although I have always loved the noise of laughter, I really can't fear the coming of quiet. As for funerals, I rather like them. Such nice things are always said about the deceased, I feel sad that they had to miss hearing it all by just a few days.