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Quotes from A Walk in the Woods — Bill Bryson

born 1951 United States

← All quotes by Bill Bryson

8 quotes

The thing about the Army Corps of Engineers is that they don’t build things very well.

A Walk in the Woods (1997)

Let’s not lose our perspective here. The Smokies achieved their natural splendor without the guidance of a national park service and don’t actually need it now.

A Walk in the Woods (1997)

America was entering the age not just of the automobile but of the retarded attention span.

A Walk in the Woods (1997)

Excuse me, but I just have to say this. You are more stupid than a paramecium.

A Walk in the Woods (1997)

If the mattress stains were anything to go by, a previous user had not so much suffered from incontinence as rejoiced in it. He had evidently included the pillow in his celebrations.

A Walk in the Woods (1997)

“Tell me, did they specify ’asshole’ on the job description, or did you take a course?“

A Walk in the Woods (1997)

I have long known that it is part of God’s plan for me to spend a little time with each of the most stupid people on earth, and Mary Ellen was proof that even in the Appalachian woods I would not be spared. It became evident from the first moment that she was a rarity.

A Walk in the Woods (1997)

In the Smokies, over 90 percent of Fraser firs—a noble tree, unique to the southern Appalachian highlands—are sick or dying, from a combination of acid rain and the depredations of a moth called the balsam woolly adelgid. Ask a park official what they are doing about it and he will say, “We are monitoring the situation closely.” For this, read: “We are watching them die.”

A Walk in the Woods (1997)

Attribution

Quotes and notes from Wikiquote: Bill Bryson (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0.