171 quotes
Friendless, adj. Having no favors to bestow. Destitute of fortune. Addicted to utterance of truth and common sense
The Devil's Dictionary (1911)
Capital, n. The seat of misgovernment.
The Devil's Dictionary (1911)
Defenceless, adj. Unable to attack.
The Devil's Dictionary (1911)
Non-combatant, n. A dead Quaker.
The Devil's Dictionary (1911)
Kleptomaniac, n. A rich thief.
The Devil's Dictionary (1911)
ROMANCE, n. Fiction that owes no allegiance to the God of Things as They Are. In the novel the writer's thought is tethered to probability, as a domestic horse to the hitching-post, but in romance it ranges at will over the entire region of the imagination -- free, lawless, immune to bit and rein.
The Devil's Dictionary (1911)
Man, n. An animal so lost in rapturous contemplation of what he thinks he is as to overlook what he indubitably ought to be. His chief occupation is extermination of other animals and his own species, which, however, multiplies with such insistent rapidity as to infest the whole habitable earth and Canada.
The Devil's Dictionary (1911)
REDEMPTION, n. Deliverance of sinners from the penalty of their sin, through their murder of the deity against whom they sinned. The doctrine of Redemption is the fundamental mystery of our holy religion, and whoso believeth in it shall not perish, but have everlasting life in which to try to understand it.
The Devil's Dictionary (1911)
Christian, n. One who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor. One who follows the teachings of Christ so long as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.
The Devil's Dictionary (1911)
Virtues, n. pl. Certain abstentions.
The Devil's Dictionary (1911)
Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence; not conforming to standards of thought, speech, and action derived by the conformants from study of themselves; at odds with the majority; in short, unusual. It is noteworthy that persons are pronounced mad by officials destitute of evidence that they themselves are sane.
The Devil's Dictionary (1911)